Sticks and Stones May Break my Bones...

Remember this saying?

Life Fact: Words that are said and words that are not said will hurt you.

Unfortunately we encouter this phenomenon in everyday life with classmates, teachers, family/extended family, friends, coworkers, etc.

First:

Truth. Of course people want to be liked by everyone they meet but this just isn't reality.

Now there is a difference between not becoming great friends with someone because you just don't click/have that much in common versus disliking someone because of your own shortcomings.

This is what I seem to have encountered throughout the years and I know I will encounter it again.

Envy and immaturity.

I have witnessed friends 'dislike' someone because they were envious of the other person having a boyfriend or getting a job first. What???

Don't get me wrong, I have had moments of envy and immaturity- we are only human - but don't let this get in the way of how you feel about someone.

You should be happy that such and such got a job promotion because the girl worked her butt off to get it, not suddenly dislike her because she moved up the ranks before you did.

You're having relationship problems? Don't project your negative energy towards someone else. If there is a problem, fix it. Such and such seems to have such a perfect relationship and yours is crumbling before your eyes? Well don't hate such and such because they have nothing to do with your relationship.

This became a harsh reality for me when I started having room mate troubles and watched other friends have room mate issues. You learn a lot in college, huh?? Did we all play a role in the entire story? Yep. None of us did everything right and none of us did anything that wrong - the trouble stemmed from how people handled it and conveyed their feelings.

A theme started appearing. Were people mad at each other? Of course. But was that the real problem? No. The problem stemmed from insecurities/issues in that persons personal life.

Should we create/blow problems out of proportion with other people just to make ourselves feel better.

A bit fat no.

So here is what I'm trying to say. People will be envious and immature. They will create rumors/drama/problems because they can and it may make them feel better for the time being. Is that going to fix whatever problem is going on in their life? Nope. Since that problem is out of control they will create another problem that they can control - but don't let them by ignoring the things that don't matter. If the time comes, you can kindly confront someone. Don't be a door matt but, also, don't create any other unnecessary drama because a person put you down. Be happy with yourself and your choices.

On the other hand, envy and immaturity will also strike us and we may have these feelings towards another. Try to take a step back and remember to deal with whatever is going on in your life appropriately and not to bring others down just to make yourself feel better. We won't be perfect at achieving this - but do try! I have to remind myself of this when I've had a bad day or witnessed a person who has not been the kindest to me achieve something. Reach out and say "congratulations." You don't have to be all buddy buddy and hang out all of the sudden - just be kind.

This all stemmed because recently someone who I know intentionally didn't say something to me and it hurt my feelings. At first I was upset (don't get me wrong - it's allowed to hurt!), but I know what is going on in this persons life and where the problem is actually stemming from. It is not really a reflection of how this person feels about me. It's a reflection of other problems that this person cannot control very well. And then I started reminiscing about my good and bad days with my room mates, one year, and how we all did the exact same thing that I am currently experiencing with this other person.