While it took some time to heal, it is no secret that my engagement ended and I was like a cougar on the hunt baby horse trying to learn how to stand as I was thrust back into the world of dating.
One of the first things I thought of was how do people date nowadays?! Coming out of a 4 year relationship was definitely tough. Once I got past the initial shock of the breakup, I hit a whole new set of hurdles.
For instance...
Dating is scary. I hadn't been on a first date in 4 1/2 years and in college first dates, or at least mine, were way more casual than actual dates. In college you can hang out with friends together, go to parties, etc, and then start dating. Now it's dinner, pick you up, take you back home.
The next step? Going out and wondering if you can meet a decent guy at a bar. The good news about this is that you can get free drinks even if there are no promising prospects. The bad news? You have to fend off the creepy guys who think they may get lucky because they bought you a drink.
As soon as you come out of a long term relationship you may come to that scary realization that during your relationship, you become totally comfortable with that person, meaning you could bum around, makeup was a choice, and anything weird that you did was acceptable. Now you can't act quite like your weird self and if you were anything like me, you had to go out to get clothes to go out in. Yes, I had hit old lady status and an acceptable bedtime was 11 o clock. Going out again was a whole new experience.
On top of caring about your appearance all the sudden you also go through a phase called, "How do I meet anyone now that I am not in college?" I literally asked everyone this question within hours of being single. In college it is so easy to meet people. You meet new people in every class and every semester. People literally just fell into your lap! Now? Now you have to actively go search for people and accept that the majority of them are in a relationship.
And just remember...during this trying time make sure you have a good friend who does not judge your sudden increase in alcohol intake, who awkwardly talks to the friend of the guy you end up talking to, and who drives you home/doesn't judge you if you suddenly become overtaken by confusing emotions. So thank you Ashley for being that friend for me.
And that my friends is basically all the scary realizations I went through as I stepped back into the dating world.
Happy Monday!
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